“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.” – Yogi Berra
“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” – Yogi Berra
“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar
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“A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” – John F. Kennedy
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
“All men are equal before fish.” – Herbert Hoover
“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” – Groucho Marx
“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.”– George Carlin
“If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?” – George Carlin
“Never have more children than you have car windows.” – Erma Bombeck
“If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?” – Cynthia Heimel
“He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.” – Charles de Gaulle
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“My favourite machine at the gym is the vending machine.” – Caroline Rhea
“If you lived with a roommate as unstable as this economic system, you would’ve moved out or demanded that your roommate get professional help.” – Richard D. Wolff
“When you’re in love it’s the most glorious two and a half days of your life.” – Richard Lewis
“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.” – Rita Mae Brown
“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner
“When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.” – Rita Rudner